Changing Your Mind

I recently attended a conference where the speaker explained her theory about mindset. She believes there are two kinds and both have a huge impact on the course of your life. At first I sat there thinking that her talk would be boring, and yet another "positive thinking" seminar. But, as I listened closer, I realized that she had to be reading my thoughts at that moment....


The first approach to thinking is called a fixed mindset. In this thought process, an individual has all the answers (right or wrong) and is very rigid on their outlook on most things. They see life as black and white, with a right and a wrong choice paired with every decision we make.  People with fixed mindsets do not see the possibilities in life, instead they see a sequential set of steps that should be attained at a certain age, almost like a checklist for their existence. While people with this line of thinking may seem very steady and reliable, they can also be the most judgmental and difficult. This is especially apparent when they stumble upon people or challenges that do not fit in their little box of a world or have no simple answer.


The second mindset is called a growth mindset. This schema sees life as a fluid and ever-changing path. While you can make plans, you have to be flexible and understand that things may or may not work out they way you started out, but life will continue regardless of the outcome. People with growth mindsets are open to change and actually seek it out. They know that sometimes there is not an easy "right" or "wrong" choice, just different doors to open with a myriad of outcomes on the other side. The focus of their life is to learn, from everyone and everything. These are the people in life that do not fit inside any mold that society mandates. They know that their thinking affects everything they do. They truly live life outside of the box and keep growing and changing each day. 


This workshop had a huge impact on my view, even of the workshop. My thinking that this seminar would be another boring talk about positive affirmations -- that was a fixed mindset. I need to be more open to what anyone, including the speaker in front of me, had to say about things that are around me. It made me think, "How do I approach things in my life...with a fixed or growth mindset?" Well, I can honestly tell you that it depends on the area of my life. But, it also made me realize that needs to change.


Today I learned that is not about thinking "good thoughts", rather it is being open to learning what the world around me has to offer. It is about knowing that there is always a choice in the way you approach it. Having a growth mindset in every area means that you won't expect ideas, people, or events to be any particular way. They just are what they are. You have to realize that the only thing you have a real influence over is your own mind, but that is SO powerful. 

Which one are you???

Be Your Own PR Agent

As a former professional recruiter, I understand how important personal presence is in the job market. If you want a job in broadcasting, for example, it is important to belong to organizations that promote that profession. It is equally important to be active in those organizations in order to network with a large number of people. Your odds will be greater if you know many people and keep those connections alive.

I began taking college classes in 1997, went for a couple of years, then stopped when my second daughter was born. The years flew by and I worked many different jobs in varying industries. In the end, I have found that in EVERY industry, it is who you know that will help you get the job you want. Once you have acquired the skills necessary to qualify for any job, networking is EVERYTHING!

In 2009, I realized that I needed more skills to be in the job I dreamed of. I went back to college and am currently in my last year of my undergraduate degree in education. I am  networking like crazy!!! I started by substitute teaching, which is a great way to meet educators currently in the field. At each school I worked in, I left my business cards and some candy in the teacher's lounge. That little bit of effort paid off right away. 

Since I am a student in education, I am also required to complete many practicum hours (working in a classroom for free to gain experience). Those experiences gave me even more opportunities to market myself and my skills to teachers (and the building principal). This fall, I am lucky enough to be student teaching in a classroom in which I have previously worked. This will be an excellent opportunity to show off my skills and talents with a teacher with whom I already feel comfortable. 

Today, I took treat bags to each of the teachers I worked with this spring. They had a notebook, pencil, a little candy....and of course, MY BUSINESS CARD. Getting people to associate my name and face (which are both on my business card) with all the positive little things I do to market myself will surely land me the job I have always wanted. I will continue with my efforts in the fall since I will be able to substitute until I find a teaching position. 

The lesson here is to BE YOUR OWN PR AGENT! You know what you do best, so market yourself accordingly. 

A Good Mom

A mother's love is truly unmatched by anything in the world. A mother carries you in her womb, feeds you, protects you, and loves you -- before anyone else has even met you. To a good mother, you are special at every age, whether you are happy or sad, obedient or troublesome, quiet or obnoxious.

Personally, I think a good mom is someone who sees their own weaknesses, who sees themselves for who they are, and works on those things that need work. Nobody is perfect, and no matter how hard we try, we're never going to be perfect. We can strive to be the best parent possible, but in the end, that's the best we can do. 

Sixteen years ago today (it's my oldest daughter's birthday), I began my journey as a mother at the age of 18. I have grown older and much wiser since that day. I am proud of my children and love them with my whole heart. That is something that nothing and no one can ever change.

Happy Mother's Day!

Happiness

People and things can make you happy...in the short run. True happiness comes from within. That is a lesson we all have to learn at some point in our lives. You cannot expect the world to "make" you happy -- that is YOUR job. Continually expecting validation from others or looking for material things/activities to fill the void you have within yourself is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. 


How can you be happy with yourself? 
(1) You have to forgive yourself for your past. You don't live there anymore, and neither should your thoughts. 
(2) Keep a list of things you do well or have accomplished recently. Refer to the list often and add to it -- even if the accomplishment seems small. 
(3) Surround yourself with positive thoughts, people and quotes. When you change your thoughts, you change your world. By thinking positively, there's no day that will get the best of you.
(4) Finally, smile. Putting on a smile not only increases your happiness, but has the same effect on others. By putting your best face forward, you will begin to see the positives in your life, instead of always focusing on the negative. 


While these small steps may not change every aspect of your life, they may control your reaction to it, which will make you happier and your struggles much easier to bear.

Where is the Love?

The love of my life :-)

I'm amazed in 2012 that there are still people who will make racist/culturally-biased comments in public places. This was a topic of discussion in a recent college class. The part that bothers me so much is that most comments are based on fear or ignorance. If you don't really know much about a culture/race, who are you to criticize? One thing I have learned is the some things never change. Sadly, people who live with any kind of hate in their heart are missing out on others who may enrich their life in ways they never knew. People they could learn from. People they could love. People are people, regardless of the color of their skin. When everyone in the world understands that, we will be able to live together in harmony. I wonder if that will be in my lifetime...

Goals Aren't Just for Setting

There are a million reasons to set goals for yourself. For me, it provides a destination to work toward. It's easy to set a goal, but not always easy to reach it. Sometimes there may be bumps along the way, but keeping true to your goals (and modifying them if needed) and maintaining momentum to accomplish them is possible. Today, I met one of my goals (from my goals page)...and that is an AMAZING feeling. Meeting one goal motivates me to move forward to accomplish even more. Remember, goals aren't just a list of things to post on your refrigerator. They aren't just for setting. They are for ACCOMPLISHING! Make sure you are doing at least one thing (hopefully more than one) to accomplish your long-term goals...it may be work, but it will be worth it.

The ABC's of Happiness

I agree with all of these... :-) Hope they give you some good ideas for creating your own happiness.