The Right Thing

I don't think anyone sits down to weigh their options on an important decision and thinks, "I'll just do the wrong thing." I firmly believe that most people want and choose to do what is good and right if it is in their ability. The hard part isn't in making the choice as much as figuring out WHAT the right thing actually is. It is not always clear. What makes it even more complicated is when there is no ideal solution to a problem -- just the lesser of two evils. What should you do then?

Instead of making decisions based on right and wrong, many people do what looks good to others. In fact, most politicians live out their entire political careers doing this very thing. When I log onto social networking sites, I see many people showing only certain aspects of their life -- because they care more about what their life looks like to others than how it is for themselves or their families. I have learned that looking good is not always doing good, and certainly does not always leave you feeling good.


If you have really thought out a decision in your life and feel it is the best one for you, don't feel the need to justify yourself to anyone. Your life is yours, including all the choices and consequences. If you feel strongly about something, make choices that reflect that and don't allow anyone to criticize them. Stand firm in your ability to do the right thing for yourself and your family.

Things I Believe In

Lately I've been noticing many articles telling readers what to think or stand for on a variety of topics (you gotta love an election year). I don't have any inclination to repeat that nonsense, but here are a few things that I believe. Take it for what it's worth.

• I believe that people can change and grow if they choose to. It starts with making different and sometimes scary choices to make your life better. The best way isn't always the easiest way, but the work is worth it.
• I believe that you have to let go of people in your life that do not believe in, or truly care, about you. That doesn't mean you drop everyone that thinks differently than you. Instead, make a conscious choice to surround yourself with the people in life who lift you up, not bring you down.
• I believe that people grow and mature at a wide spectrum of rates. Some children grow into responsible teens and adults early in their 20s. They make the good choices and have an early payoff in life as a result. Others make make many, many mistakes along the way. It takes longer for those people to learn their lesson. They learn the hard way, but are stronger because of it. I also believe there are people never grow up. They are trapped in the glory days of their youth or the angst of it. Sometimes they never leave their childhood home.
• I believe that you can't take it with you. Even if you could, would you want to? Life is better when you are happy with what you have. Accumulating things just makes life more complicated. Keep it simple.
• I believe that the world would be a better place if everyone on the planet reached out in kindness to another person at least once a day.  I try to do something nice for at least one person each day. It is an amazing feeling to be the reason for someone's smile. 
• I believe in trying your hardest in the things you do with your time. Time is so precious -- why waste it doing things halfway? Whether you are working, in school, volunteering, or doing anything...give your best efforts. Knowing you gave your all makes success even sweeter.
• I believe all relationships take effort to maintain. Checking their social networking status or comments is not enough. Nurture your connection with your family and friends, especially through gathering together in person or talking on the phone. This brings more joy than any text ever could. 

St. Bubba Day

Happy St. Bubba Day!!! 

Summer 2003

My daughter, Katelyn, ADORES her brother, Patrick. When he was a baby, she never left his side -- except for naptime. But the word "Patrick" was impossible for her to say then. At barely one, she couldn't even say "baby" coherently yet. What she could say resembled "bubby", which stuck as Patrick's nickname for a couple years. 

St. Bubba Day 2012 (with a special card from Katelyn)

When he turned two or so, it evolved to "bubba". His plump, little cheeks framed the cutest smile on the planet. Once he started kindergarten, he adamantly wanted to be called Patrick from then on. Patrick loves having two special days every year: his birthday and "St. Bubba Day", which we still call it. I love having unique traditions in our family. I hope we always remember the stories behind them. 

To Do Lists

I am a list maker. Of the many lists in the back of my planner, some help me remember projects I want to do around the house, others list books or websites I want to check out. I love my lists, but I love checking things off of them even more. Keeping a master list of things you want to accomplish can organize your life. I know it does not work that way for everyone, but having some kind of method to the madness is a good start to taking control of your life and choices you make with your time. 


Make a list of all the things you want to do this week. Post it on the refrigerator or other place you see regularly. If you love technology, for example, there are free services that keep your lists online so you have access to them wherever you go! See if one of these methods makes you more mindful of those tasks. If so, you may want to do it regularly. For me, lists make my life easier. Hopefully, I can help you do the same!

Choices

The missing fence (about 15 feet wide)

This week I've been very privileged to be doggie-sitting for Avery, my brother and his fiancee's (he asked her on their trip :-) dog. She is an awesome dog and I LOVE having her here. It did remind me, however, of a little incomplete project in the backyard. Part of the fence is missing, so I cannot let her out in the yard to run and play like I want. To repair the fence properly, we priced the items at a minimum of $150. Well, we can't do THAT right now. So what's the alternative? Well, I found some security fencing for $30, but I'm not sure if it would keep her safe. Choices...choices....

One of the choices...isn't it AWESOME??

I came upon this picture in Pinterest (yes, its very addictive if you love making things). I really like the look of this and it is not very expensive (still going to be around $75). I'm not really sure what to choose.

Life is so full of options sometimes that you don't know which way to go. One way seems like a good idea, especially when its the easy route, but that is not always the BEST choice. I'm going to mull this over for a few days, since its already too late to fix it for this visit. For now, I'm just going to continue to take Avery on LOTS of walks to keep her entertained.

One-Way Relationships

According to Dictionary.com, the definition of relationship is, "the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or in the state of being connected". With this definition in mind, there is no such thing as a one-way relationship. In order for it to even BE a relationship, there must be two or more people connected. If there is no effort from two parties, it is nothing. This meaning impacts all types of relationships: ones with familiy, friends, lovers, co-workers, and acquaintances. No one person can keep giving and giving; getting no love or friendship in return will leave you empty. It takes two to cultivate a connection over time. 


Think about all the relationships in your life and evaluate whether they are two-way. Are you doing your part, or just expecting the other person to do all the work? Are you giving in a relationship, but never receiving what you need? If either of these apply, adjustments must be considered. You know deep down inside if you are in a mutually caring, respectful relationship. You know when you are by the way this person makes you feel when you interact with them (in person, on the phone, online, etc.). Use your feelings to determine whether you are happy most of the time around that person or if feelings of anxiety, fear, distrust arise every time you think about them. Talk to you that person and let them know how you feel. After all, there can be no good relationship that is one-way.

Change

Change is the only thing in this life you can truly count on. Whenever you really get settled into a groove, a change is bound to happen soon. The experiences we have in life can change everything, whether you want them to or not. Over the last year, I have felt like things are really changing in my life. After our home was flooded last June, my perspective changed. Then, when my grandma passed away last November, it changed again. The lessons I learned through these two experiences transformed my thinking and priorities like never before. I have new insight on myself and what I want for my family in the future. I will never be the exactly same person again...I'm changed.

Forgiveness

There are times in our lives when we become hurt, disappointed, or irritated by people around us (some we love, others are perfect strangers). I know my feelings have been hurt before and I know I have hurt others as well. One of the things I have learned over the last couple of years, however, is that forgiveness of yourself and others brings inner peace. Holding grudges against people does not do that. In fact, when you keep pain or anger inside, it only hurts yourself. Don't get me wrong -- you are allowed to feel hurt when someone inflicts it -- but sometimes you just need to learn to let go.

When people repeatedly hurt you, it is especially important to forgive them for a few reasons. One, so you can move on. Two, so that they know you have forgiven them. This act of forgiveness does not mean that you have to continue allowing them to hurt you though. Occasionally, you have to eliminate people from your life that cause repeated pain (especially if they have a pattern of this behavior over many years). You should forgive them, but you do not have to continue to allow them to affect you or have a place in your life. Although breaking ties with people can be hurtful, sometimes it is simply necessary.

Letting go of your pain and anger can give you freedom to focus on positive growth in other areas of your life. Forgive people freely of their mistakes to a point, but don't let perpetually negative/hurtful people participate in your journey -- you deserve better.