Lies and Liars

No one likes to be lied to, yet we have all lied at some point or another. My deceased step-father, who was a self-proclaimed minister, lied to people all the time. Little "white" lies in his opinion, but aren't all lies still lies? And aren't all people who tell lies considered liars? There are so many motivations to tell lies: to conceal things, to avoid embarrassment, to make someone artificially happy, to escape blame... the list goes on and on. Some lies are told without even lying (called omissions), but if it leads someone to believe something that is NOT true, it is still a lie. One lie turns into another and another, then turns into three more.  I'm sure I am not alone in having gone down that path in my younger days.

I am not going to give any moral or religious reasoning to explain why lying is wrong or bad. I wish life was always black and white, making honesty easy in all situations. I wish I could say I would never, ever lie again. But, that is not reality. I'm sure I will eat food I don't like, but consume it happily and thank the cook for an excellent meal. I know I will call into work sick someday when I just need a day for rest and relaxation. I know I will say 'I'm fine' to a friend who asks, when I'm not. These are all lies that I will likely continue saying or doing without much thought.

The flip side is the individual who lives in a separate reality because they have lost track of their many lies. I have known friends and family members like that in my lifetime. They consistently double-talk themselves because they don't even remember what they said yesterday. Unfortunately for those of us, like myself, who have a really good memories, their falsehoods show through with distinct clarity. In my mind, these kind of people are so worried about what others think, they get caught in a spiral of deceit and don't know how to escape. They believe no one will care about them once they are found out. Maybe that's true, maybe it's not. It probably depends on what they lied about.

So here's what I can say (since I can only control myself, not others)...I'm making more effort than ever in MY life to be as forthcoming and honest with people as possible. Not necessarily for the ethical implications involved...but be cause it just makes life WAY easier. I don't have to struggle to recall what I said three months ago to someone, because the truth is easy to remember. I would rather avoid a situation altogether than have to figure out how to make up a lie about it. I simply don't have the time or energy to do that sort of thing, nor do I care to foster friendships with people who do. I will continue to lead my life with as much integrity as possible, while being completely realistic about everything. I will make every effort to tell you the truth, and hope you will see the benefit of doing the same -- even if its just to make our already complicated lives a little simpler.