The Perfect Mate

When I was a little girl, I had a laundry list of things I wanted my future husband to be. He needed to be rich, handsome, a good father and husband... my very own Prince Charming to come sweep me off my feet. I wanted a love story with a fairy-tale ending. As I became a young woman, my list grew even more to include things like honest, artistic, musical, a good communicator, sensitive, tall, liked to travel, enjoyed the outdoors, nurturing, helped around the house, and a whole host of other "must-have" qualities..... (WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?) Now that I am older, my list is actually getting shorter. I am beyond all those material and physical things that I thought made the "perfect" man and relationship. I have realized that some of the things I thought I wanted really don't matter.

Here is my short list today:

1) Loving/giving to me and my children.

2) Responsible/Trustworthy.

3) Committed.

4) Able to have a two-way, productive conversation.

5) Chemistry.... :-)

For me, this is the perfect mate. What makes my mate compatible, may not include the same list of things as another individual. You may have different values or needs. Its important, however, to know when you may be asking for too much. Being realistic is not settling if some of items on your list are NOT REALLY critical to your happiness. Don't get carried away. Relationships are all about compromise. The person who meets 90% of your list may not make your happy, after all. The person who meets 75% may be your soul mate and keep you smiling all of your days. More importantly, YOU may not meet someone else's criteria exactly, but they love you. It goes both ways. If you are contemplating a new or current relationship, make a list of things that you feel are "deal-breakers". If the person you are with does not meet any of them, you may want to rethink the course of that relationship. Unrealistic expectations, on the other hand, can keep you from appreciating your partner. If you are out there in the dating world, remember your criteria, but be flexible. Don't expect anyone to meet 100% of the 50 items you think they must have for you to date them. They may have qualities you never even considered and COULD be your perfect mate.